MaxMagnusNorman.com post 297
How to Stop Farting: Get Rid of Flatulence, Gases and Swollen Stomach -
Sluta fisa, slipp svullen mage och gaser

 
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When it comes to problems with flatulence and gases, swollen stomach and farting modern science has made great progress finding remedies for those afflicted. Listed below are some of the latest methods for once and for all put an end to flatulence, farting and the discomfort it involves. Should any of these methods seem interesting to you then do not hesitate to contact your physician and he or she will be very happy to assist you.

När det gäller problem med uppsvälldhet, gaser och fisande har den moderna forskningen inneburit enorma framsteg för de drabbade. Nedan listas några av de senaste metoderna för att en gång för alla sätta punkt för fisandet och det obehag det innebär. Skulle någon av dessa metoder verka intressanta så vänd er till er läkare så kommer han eller hon att med största glädje bistå er.

A new radical method which effectively puts a stopper on flatus (intestinal gases) and problems with a swollen stomach is to surgically attach this kind of special vent, made of hypoallergenic silicone. On the inside the vent is attached to the appendix - which almost seem to be put there solely for this purpose - and on the outside the vent is fastened with a titanium based surgical glue.

Stomach gas vent - Magventil

En ny radikal metod som effektivt hjälper mot gaser och svullen mage är att opera fast en sådan här ventil, tillverkad av hypoallergenisk silikon. På insidan fästs ventilen vanligtvis mot blindtarmen - vilken nästan verkar vara till för det ändamålet - och på utsidan limmas ventilen fast med ett titanbaserat kirurglim.

When the need arises the intestinal gas pressure can easily be lowered by opening the vent. The method is similar to the process of venting a radiator and it's important that the vent is located higher than the stomach when opening it. So, to avoid that other stuff than gas leak out it is recommended to assume the bridge pose when the vent is opened.

Stomach gas vent open - Magventil öppen

När behov uppstår kan man enkelt lätta på trycket genom att öppna ventilen. Metoden är snarlik den som används för att lufta värmeelement och det är viktigt att ventilen hålls högre än magen vid öppnande. Så, för att undvika att annat än gas tränger ut rekommenderas brukaren att stå i brygga när ventilen öppnas.

The vent can easily be tucked in so that it does not get caught in clothes or else comes in the way of normal living.

Stomach gas vent tucked in - Magventil infälld

Ventilen kan enkelt fällas in på det att den inte fastnar i kläder eller är i vägen på annat sätt.



Another new method to help keep gases in check is this special intestinal gas drainage hose. The three metres long hose which is made of semi-rigid organic plastic is gradually swallowed bit by bit, a process which usually doesn't take more than one hour to accomplish. It will then take a day or so for the hose to travel, moved by intestinal villi, through the bowels to its correct working position.

Fart draining hose - Fisdräneringsslang

En annan ny metod för att hålla gaserna i schack är den här speciella gasdräneringsslangen. Den tre meter långa slangen som är gjord av halvstyv organisk plast sväljs en bit i taget, detta tar vanligtvis inte mer än en timme. Efter någon dag har slangen med hjälp av tarmluddets rörelser färdats genom tarmsystemet till rätt position.

When in position the system works by allowing the intestinal gases to seep through the draining holes and thus allowing the gas free passage through the hose out of the body. This effectively empties otherwise blocked gas pockets and thus prevents the stomach from swelling up, taking the wind out of the inconveniences such a condition usually brings. The user will thus never again need to fart since the body is constantly and continuously emptied of gases.

Intestinal gas draining hose in working position - Gasdräneringsslang i arbetsför position

Väl på plats fungerar systemet genom att tarmgaserna sipprar in i dräneringshålen och därmed har fri passage genom slangen ut ur kroppen. Detta tömmer effektivt annars blockerade gasfickor och förhindrar på så sätt effektivt svullen mage och de obehag en sådan innebär. Brukaren kommer däremd aldrig mer att behöva fisa då kroppen kontinuerligt och ständigt töms på gaser.

If on some occasion it's for some reason not desirable to release gas then the hose can easily be pushed in. After some muscular training based on specially adapted strain exercises the hose can be moved in and out without the need of manual power.

A rare side effect of this gas drainage system is that a negative pressure can build up in the hose, which might lead to the so called "suction butt" syndrome. But that is very unusual.

Intestinal gas draining hose tucked in - Gasdräneringsslang inskjuten

Om man vid något tillfälle inte önskar släppa ut gas så kan slangen enkelt skjutas in. Efter en viss muskelträning med specialanpassade krystövningar kan slangen föras in och ut utan hjälp av handkraft.

En ovanlig biverkning av detta dräneringssystem är att ett negativt tryck kan uppstå i slangen vilket kan orsaka s.k. sugstjärt, men detta är ytterst sällsynt.

There is no such thing as risk free surgery, so, before going through such lengths it should be tested if medicines can solve the issue. A new product against flatulence, uncontrolled farting and swollen stomach is Infart. The medicine has been used on animals - particularly cattle and pigs - for years in order to decrease carbon dioxide emissions, and has now finally been adapted for human use.

Infart anti flatulence pills - Infart gashämmande medicin

Alla kirurgiska ingrepp innebär risker, så innan man tar till sådana metoder bör man pröva om problemet går att lösa med medikamenter. En ny produkt mot svullen mage och okontrollerat fisande är Infart. Läkemedlet har använts i flera år för att begränsa koldioxidutsläpp hos djur - i synnerhet nötboskap och grisar - och har nu äntligen släppts för människor.

Infart works by compressing the intestinal gases into small ceramic pebbles, so called flatus nodules, more commonly known as fart balls.

These fart balls work as a excellent replacement for a fibre rich diet since they give volume to bowel motions in a manner similar to the workings of fibres. The balls also have a peeling effect on the intestinal walls which work preventive against hemorrhoids, polypi and some forms of intestinal cancer.

Scientists have also noticed in animal studies that the nodules have a checking effect on intestinal parasites; roundworms and such seem to find it pleasant to crawl into the cavities of the balls and thus follow them out of the host animal.

Infart intestinal workings - Infart invärtes funktion

Infart fungerar genom att det komprimerar gaserna i tarmsystemet. Tarmgaserna pressas på kemisk väg samman till små keramiska kulor, s.k. noduler, eller lite folkligare uttryckt fiskulor.

Dessa fiskulor tjänar som en utmärkt ersättning till en fiberrik kost då de fyller ut avföringen på ett liknande sätt som fibrer, och har dessutom en peelingeffekt på tarmväggen vilket verkar förebyggande mot hemorrojder, polyper och vissa former av tarmcancer.

Forskare har hos djur även upptäckt att kulorna har en hämmande effekt på parasiter; spolmaskar och dylikt verkar finna det trivsamt att krypa in i kulornas små håligheter och följer dem därmed ut ur värddjuret via avföringen.

When Infart is used industrially on cattle the ceramic fart balls are collected and undergoes a refining process. The final product is then marketed as LECA pellets. LECA pellets serve both as a soil improvement and as a filler in various cement compounds.

You can also contribute to an improvement of the Earth's climate by eating Infart and thus not only reducing your body's carbon dioxide emission but also make your faeces more environmental friendly and suitable for composting.

Flatus nodules, fart balls - Fiskulor

När Infart används industriellt på boskap tar man vara på de keramiska fiskulorna. Kulorna genomgår en reningsprocess och den färdiga produkten säljs under beteckningen lecakulor. Lecakulor fungerar både som en dränerande jordförädlingsprodukt och som filler i diverse cementblandningar.

Även du kan bidra till att förbättra klimatet på jorden genom att äta Infart varpå du inte bara minskar din kropps koldioxidutsläpp utan också gör din avföring mer miljövänlig och bättre lämpad för kompostering.

Before you consider medical treatment you should try to figure out why these gases appear. The most common reason is that your body is incapable to fully digest something in your diet. It's usually some kind of vegetable or root; potatoes, onion, beans etc. The reason can also be that milk sugar, lactose, or wheat protein, gluten, upset your stomach. So, before attempting any of the methods above you should try to exclude some products from your diet and see if the problems remain. These kind of problems are quite often temporary; if you for instance can't eat onion today you might be able to do that in the future, if you give your stomach a break from such food for a while, giving it a chance to recover.

And yes, an old trick to remove the smell of farts is to light a match.

Men innan du ens ger dig på att medicinera bör du fundera över varför dessa gaser uppstår. Den vanligaste orsaken är att det är något du äter som din kropp inte klarar av att smälta helt och hållet. Vanligtvis är det någon grönsak eller rotfrukt; potatis, lök, bönor etc. Det kan också bero på att du inte tål mjölksocker, d.v.s att du är laktosintollerant eller inte tål veteproteinet gluten. Så, innan du ger dig i kast med metoderna ovan så bör du pröva att utesluta vissa produkter i din kosthållning och se om problemen lindras. Ofta är problemen övergående; tål du inte lök i dag kan det hända att din mage återhämtar sig om den får en längre paus från sådan föda och kanske kan du äta lök igen om något år eller så.

Och just det, ett gammalt trick för att bli av med fislukt är att tända en tändsticka.


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Posted by: Gucko Site 2007-09-26

Ha ha
Din begåvning och stilistiska säkerhet är ytterligt roande.
Först hackspetten och nu denna medicinskt intressanta reflektion gör mig glad.
Ett intelligent lustspel i vardagen må jag säga.

 

Posted by: gay 2007-09-27

i need to stop farting

 

Posted by: JAP 2007-09-27

this is the stupidest thing ive ever seen

 

Posted by: Jack 2007-09-27

This is too funny and too ridiculous! It's just easier to fart!

 

Posted by: jah 2007-09-28

why the JAH would anyone want to do that???

 

Posted by: g0rg0r 2007-09-29

this is silly!! all that stuff just so people stop farting, what are they thinking? maybe people should think about changing their diets inorder to stop farting.
and the more i think about it, i think, who cares if someone farts. farting is kinda funny.

 

Posted by: Ankan 2007-09-29

Inte varje dag ebaumsworld.com länkar till svenska sidor, grattis!

 

Posted by: Max Magnus 2007-09-29

Ankan: Det är fjärde eller femte gången de länkar. Bl.a. skulpturerna och "Världens största jordgubbe" har dragit till sig deras intresse tidigare.

 

Posted by: Knet 2007-10-05

Hur fan ska man skita med en gasdräneringsslang i röven?

 

Posted by: kLet 2007-10-05

Knet: man får väl lägga rör istället för kablar.

 

Posted by: Jameka Jones 2007-11-18

I may actually be dumber for just having looked at this. On the other hand, I'll take two of these nifty things.

 

Posted by: Will 2008-02-05

I like your style

 

Posted by: MEGAN 2008-03-04

TWO PLEASE

 

Posted by: Miss Primett 2008-04-15

I just can't beleave it, in this day and age people still let off, how can this still be aloud!

 

Posted by: Brendan 2008-06-16

HAHAHA! Infart?!?! This had me in stitches, so much so that I couldn't hold in my farts!

 

Posted by: blah 2008-08-08

pahaha, thats just funny! i'm pretty sure this isnt something serious, or is it actually real :O

 

Posted by: kio 2008-09-20

this is stupid....

 

Posted by: nini 2008-10-15

i don't know how far this article is true but i've been myself going through a tough time with this farting problem.. those who haven't been in such a situation may find it stupid, but believe me, it is really embarassing and you can't control at times... There are people who don't care but some (rather many) make an issue out of it... i've been on medication since 3 months and completely changed my diet but to no avail.. so, does internal stress has anything to do with flatulence etc?

 

Posted by: sally Site 2008-10-23

Bahtock bonjour

 

Posted by: NiceTry! 2008-12-12

bwuahahahahaha!! those are gravel rocks I use for the garden lol and that opening used to blow up balls and stuff is not true.. otherwise your inside would get an infection lol.. A doctor must be playing around..but good on ya.. you have a sense of humour..but I hope no one actually believes this?! Only the blind would believe this.. lol bwuahahahahahahahahahaha! :P good joke.. you have put alot of work into this to make us all laugh...

 

Posted by: Fartorama 2009-01-07

This is GREAT! NEED THESE! I have been farting uncontrolably for two years. I am on SS disability for this. I have to stay in a room all by myself because the smell is sooo bad. You can't believe how many fires I started with my farts. I need the crap balls NOW! The farts are HOT&STINKY send 50 boxs.

 

Posted by: Andjelko 2009-03-27

I have a problem - can someone please help me.

 

Posted by: itsme 2009-05-02

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I want large fart rocks to show my kids.
AHAAHA btter yet I bet thay are great at partys.
I see it now HI mYy name is itsme do you want to tast a fart rock. HAHAHAHA

 

Posted by: Joseph 2009-05-23

who would want to do that

 

Posted by: nithi 2009-06-16

where we can get this infart , where can i get the sample

 

Posted by: David Vallillo Site 2009-06-29

This could be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Bread's really yummy cuz you can make french toast out of it.

 

Posted by: Emerson Araujo Site 2009-07-11

Thanks for helping me with my problem... and my family and friends problem because I normally fart amonng them... and I know I have to stop doing that... but know with your help I will achieve my goal!

 

Posted by: gaurav 2009-11-18

i fart so much in class and in room. it smells alot and produces sound

 

Posted by: FARTASS Site 2009-12-01

I FART ON YOU

 

Posted by: Glen Penner 2009-12-16

how do you get a hold of the product called infart

 

Posted by: X) 2009-12-16

Infart is only available in Sweden.

 

Posted by: Akram 2009-12-25

I Have no flatulence but some day i have to fart with sound. Pls help me.

 

Posted by: edy 2010-01-10

so how much does the fart vent cost. also what does the fart drainage tube cost. can i get a discounted deal if i purchase both. and does my insurance cover these. please respond i have major gas and need medical attention and immediate relief......nevermind i just farted.....twice

 

Posted by: marcia 2010-03-27

Is this a joke??

 

Posted by: Gastly 2010-04-04

Man the gas drainage hose is exactly what i need. Is it hard to pull the hose in and out of your anus without using your hand. I may need to tuck it in when going to a meeting or something. My wife could use the Infart. Do you have samples?
Thanks
Gastly

 

Posted by: Jim Drover Site 2010-04-23

This is incredibly funny!! I actually went to the DR to see if I could get these performed because of all the gas I expel. All I have to say is don't light a match next to me!!!!

 

Posted by: emma crosby 2010-07-01

my wind is really smelly

 

Posted by: Amy Rosebud Skank 2010-07-17

Fffffffff'tung

 

Posted by: My O-Ring Fell Out 2010-08-12

This $hit ain't funny. I was looking for a real solution to my very serious flatulence problem. I nearly $hit myself daily and the stench is killing me and all my loved ones. If only Infart were available at your neighborhood pharmacy. Oh my, here comes another one, gotta go...

 

Posted by: camilla 2010-11-14

hur ska man sluta fisa
jag har mycket gas i magen
så att jag fiser hela tiden
jämt ibland lucktar det illa åxå
när man fiser åxå
när man fiser åxå

 

Posted by: fag 2010-12-18

omg put a dick up my butt

 

Posted by: Jack ASS Site 2010-12-27

wet discharge

 

Posted by: Stein-Gunnar 2011-02-05

Is there any chances that the effect of those LECA pellets can be reversed?

 

Posted by: vicki mccann 2011-02-10

does the medical plug that they put into your stomach actually work and is this infomation false or not

 

Posted by: denis comerford 2011-04-14

if only it was that easy !!

 

Posted by: KAIZER Site 2011-10-12

I have a farting problem , i need medication.

 

Posted by: Jimmy 2012-04-11

@nini I see what you mean... I assure you that your diet is the problem... I think that you've started eating too much... Try to eat less. I know it's hard, but definitely the diet...

 

Posted by: Ed McCready 2012-10-26

Loved all the advice but I probably just should carry matches all day... I am in India trying to figure out how to stop all the farting from the vegetarian diet...loved your solutions but non are available here except the match! LOL!

 

Posted by: JONA 2013-01-30

Where do i buy Infart tablettes?

 

Posted by: Clark Kent 2013-01-31

How to obtain Infart anti-fart pills:

1. Go to Sweden.
2. Follow the sign.

 




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